Life is too short. Dati ko namang alam na maikli lang ang buhay pero mas naramdaman ko ito lalo kamakailan. Probably I have lived half, if not more than half, of my entire life and I would like to spend the remaining days different from what I did before. Thank God I feel stronger and I could spend most of them in a more meaningful way. (in the best way I can and I know). At dahil maikli lang ang buhay wala na akong oras para:
1) Mag-ipon at mag-impok ng negative emotions. Marami naman talagang bagay na nakagagalit, nakadidismaya at nakalulungkot at karamihan dito ay hindi ko naman kayang kontrolin. Ang kaya ko lang kontrolin ay ang aking nararamdaman at gagawin tungkol dito. Kaya, if there are people who offended me binibigyan ko lang and sarili ko ng mga few minutes to feel and express the negative emotions tapos sasabihin ko, what happened happened, get over it. Restore if I could restore, if not then, gagawin ko na ang mga bagay na mas importante, sayang kasi ang nalalabing oras.
2) Mag-isip at ipaliwanag ang lahat. Madalas maraming oras ang naaaksaya ko kasi I tried to figure things out. Then, I realized I just spent so much time thinking about the situation. Whatever conlusions I developed, at the end, sasabihin ko sa sarili ko, hindi pa rin ako sigurado at kuntento. At lalu lang akong mag-iisip ng mag-iisip. See how stupid and illogical it is. I don't need to explain or understand everything, all I need to do is to trust Him. So a week ago, I told myself, this is the first day I stop explaining every event. I would entrust everything to God and promise myself I would enjoy every minute of His gift. Well, after that, I can see things clearly, that there are soooo many things I have to be thankful about and be happy about.
I always feel better when I end the day by praying like this, "Search me please, if you see any evil thoughts to hurt anyone, friends or foe, verbal or physical, rebuke me. Let me forgive those who offended and want to offend me." Sa dami nila ang hirap isaisahin, nakakatulugan ko na kaya, to be continued na lang sa umaga. Pero tatanungin ko Siya in the morning, kanino nga ba ako natapos? Then, I will continue the prayer for them like this, "Bless those who hate me, the same way you bless me." (Ang mga positive things na nangyari sa akin sana maranasan din nila, idagdag pa duon sa maraming blessings nila, at iyung mga negative sa akin na lang iyon.)
